Hey y’all! It’s been a little min but I write from my soul and I can never put a timing on my blog posts.

If you’ve been following my IG, you know I’m in a space of transitioning through uncomfortable spaces. GROWING. I feel like we always shout about growth and how we all need to do it …but HOW SWAY?

There’s this thing about me where I feel like I’m always right. I feel my actions are always justified and THATS THAT! The gag is …I’m so full of myself and I needed to be humble. I can get defensive when I feel like I’m being called out on my own bullshit. Just typing this seems weird to be honest. However, I need to see this. I need to feel that my words and actions are not the end-all-be-all. 

Recently, I’ve been thinking & moving differently because I want better outcomes for my life. I was different results. A friend invited me to his church revival and everything the pastor said stuck with me. “You can’t get deep water blessings with a shore mentality”! HELLOOOOO SOMEBODY! I got to dig deeper. I have to see that there isn’t just one perspective on life. This is another reason I’m grateful for my platform. I get to engage with so many individuals and see different outcomes and thought processes.

Changing my mentality and being open to growth has placed me in uncomfortable moments and conversations. I get frustrated with myself a lot. I get discouraged when I feel like I’m not understanding the source of my pain. However, I am accepting the challenge. I am learning how to be a better daughter, friend, partner, and woman..I am realizing that my responses and my actions are not a “One Size Fit All” but I can evolve to handle situations as need be.

One of my newer, forming relationships recently challenged my mind on who I thought I was. For now we will call this person a “friend”. They somewhat called out me out for something I wasn’t doing. I became slight upset because again…Ms. Mamas thinks she’s perfect. It was an uncomfortable conversation but my actions from the conversation is what let me knew I have grown! I handled the situation head-on and communicated properly! Some of y’all reading maybe like…Girl that’s it?! That’s big to me! I can shut down or deflect ..and I didn’t do either. I listened for understanding and not just to respond. Whewwww Chile it was HARD ! YA HEAR ME?!!I listened because I cared and I wanted to elevate. It was at this moment ..I knew I am becoming the woman I am destined to be. 

The crazy part is …everything my friend was saying, I could relate to. I was just too into myself and my head to communicate it properly. I’m so grateful for uncomfortable moments because it has been pushing me to step up. Pushing me to not be afraid of voicing my concerns no matter how I perceive it will go. 

I’ve suddenly become the “transparency” friend amongst my friend group and it’s super hilarious. I appreciate you all for rocking with me and along this journey. 

Special thanks to Freedom in Fragility for bringing me into their ranks to dig deep. Check out Casey’s website as she invites black women to cultivate a space of healing and ending silent suffering. 

Happy Early New Year Boo Thangsssss! I’m taking this moment to reflect on my many transitions throughout 2020 and I must say (excuse my language) this SHIT has been a lot. I dedicate this post to More life. More love. More laughter. More lessons. 

This is my open letter to 2020.

To: 2020 from ME 

Date : December 31, 2020

Theme: Intentional

Song: Comfortable by H.E.R { For dramatics play song at the bottom of post and THEN start reading} 

*y’all remember writing letters like this in middle school?!! 

2020 I needed you. I needed you to continue to mold me. I needed you to put together pieces I did’t know that were required. Anything that did not work for me …WAS FOR MY GOOD. There were times I said Yes…but 2020 said HELL NO. I may have not understood then..but geesshhh I OVERstand now.

The beginning of this year set the tone for everything I’ve accomplished and managed to pull through. Moving from my comfort zone to a new territory while in a pandemic. Channeling every bit of my emotions to deal with a heartbreak again (we’ll discuss later). Harnessing childhood traumas and realizing how they were triggering my current actions. Carrying burdens that I’m now ready to release. Breaking toxic patterns and becoming more intentional with my moves. It feels good to finally be on the other side of things. I feel like I can finally breathe. I can finally walk up-right. I can finally say ..I’m doing what makes me happy! I have been transparent about a lot of my struggles this year and next year will be no different. I have connected with so many of you that were willing to share your stories, frustrations, fears, and dreams. I’m so blessed and favored to receive the courage to start this platform. I am here to be an example that you can talk about your struggles just how we celebrate our successes. I am by far not perfect but I strive for progress. Progress to be a better version of myself. Looking back on all I’ve been through this year…sometimes I just want to cry (happy and sad tears). Sometimes I do. The way God and the universe has been on my side…I have released the fear that I won’t become everything that I have manifested. I will continue to pour onto everything and anything I touch. What good is potential without action? I challenge you all to do something out of your comfort zone next year…Step up and step out on faith.

Thank you all for riding for me. Most of my posts are unscheduled. Meaning..I do this ish from the heart and straight from the bottom of me!! LOVE YALL ❤️❤️

With the most sincerity I have to offer,

Shon 

Hey Y’all!!! Ya girl is finally settled at my new assignment location in DC! But before I get into all of the excitement of finally stepping into my faith, I want to tell you about the struggles I went through to get here.

The Push

You know the goals you hold at the back of your mind? Those goals you never really think you’ll get to do one day? Those goals that keep you inspired to push everyday? Well, that’s what travel nursing was to me. I didn’t think that I would actually get all my ducks in a row to START. My ideal time-line was possibly the summer of fall. After moving back home and not renewing my lease, I had nothing else to hold me back. If you remember my first blog posts, I spoke about traveling in the future. Listen, commuting back and forth to my job was getting so exhausting! I was hating the drive every single week! I was fighting between being scared of leaving everything I knew and saying F*** this job! During the week I would stay with my friends to avoid having to take the hour drive back after a tiresome shift. So basically I would go from home (after not living there in 8 years) to another place that wasn’t mine. STRESS! Shoutout to my girls Kenya, Steph, Alli, & DeeDee for the support! For 4 months I struggled internally until I reached out to recruiters and everything GOT REAL! I had a job offer in the location I wanted within 2 weeks! Talk about moving fast hell!! My hands were literally shaking as I called my manager to tell her I was leaving.

I had so many elements working against me during this time of deciding to leave. My close aunt was constantly sick. I had people question if I was making the right decision in the midst of a pandemic. Was my life worth leaving everything I had known for the past 2 years? Screw peoples’ opinion on your life!

Now that I look back on everything I experienced in the last 6 months….It was all a TEST! Keep going. Keep swimming. Keep fighting for what rightfully yours!

The Prep

Listen Linda! Once I confirmed with my recruiter that my position was secured, everything was spinning! I spoke to other travel nurses and dug deep into travel nurse groups on facebook to ensure I was being compensated fairly. The stars were aligning soooooo perfectly! I only told a few people that I was leaving. I could not handle the extra opinions and naysayers at this pivotal moment. Me and some close friends had a mini cookout at the crib to send me off and that was all I needed! I was so anxious leading into the days of me leaving that I could not focus on anything really.. I was so ready to just leave! I can not tell you half of the mess I packed because I was just throwing stuff in bins.

Show Time

Sooooooo….ya girl is finally settled and I’m getting through my first week with my assignment. The night before the first day I was shaking like a stripper OKURRRRRR!! My nerves were in knots. I was so anxious that I had to take a Benadryl to sleep.

However, after a few days here I see that I have been underestimating my skills. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?! I can run circles all over this floor! My previous staff position has prepared me for anything…It took me leaving to see it. I’m getting adjusted to all the different personalities here BAYBAYYYYYY! Fortunately, we wear masks 24/7 so my facial expressions are concealed. PRAISE GOD!

Moving Forward

My assignment is 8 weeks and I have no idea if I will extend or where my new spot will be. I honestly don’t care about it exactly at this moment. I’m just basking in the idea that I’m finally in a phase that I was dreaming about. IT FEELS DAMN GOOD!! Maybe I’ll travel for a year. Maybe I’ll travel for 3. IDK! I do know that I will be living my life on my own terms from this point out! I am flexible and willing to do what I need to be sure I am valued. Thank you to everyone who has uplifted me with kind words and gestures. To anyone who feels like they are stuck in your current position, know that you ARE NOT. You have the ability to chance your course at ANY TIME. Make informed decisions and seek guidance if you must. Know that you do not know everything! There is a community of people that need your strengths, talents, and expertise. Do not give up!

Talk to me! What has been a season of growth for you? How are you overcoming? Take me on your journeys!!

As we conclude Mental Health Awareness month, I would like to bring in some professional advice to all my gals that are on the fence about attending therapy. Introducing one of the coolest counselors I know on my blog, Satura Long! This post ties in with my heartbreak blog post so be sure to read both today!

My name is Satura Long and I work as a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate at a community outpatient agency.  I received my Master of Education and Education Specialist degrees at Clemson University through their Clinical Mental Health Program. I’ve been working in the mental health field for two years and it has been the most rewarding experience for me thus far.  I went into the field of counseling because I found it to be something that I felt I could have benefitted from as a child and aimed to be the person in which I needed. I feel like as black women we are often seen as these superwomen that are always suppose to have it together and be strong, but this unfair demand leads many of us to feel lost and alone with this unachievable standard.  

One thing I often hear from people is, “counseling isn’t for me” or “I’m not crazy or anything”. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be “crazy” to receive services. Sometimes just having that objective ear to challenge patterns that have been problematic or addressing traumas that may be  unspoken is needed. We are human and share an unique experience in this thing called life and we don’t always get it right. The right counselor for you will focus on building rapport, making you feel comfortable and will assist you with viewing and coping with situations in a healthy and effective manner.  Comfortability is also known to be a hurdle in the African American community when opening up to a counselor.  Though black counselors in the field may be a more rare find, they are out there so don’t give up! The field of counseling is becoming more diverse each year to be able to aid a variety of populations. Lastly, you can still love Jesus and receive counseling services!!!! In the black community, counseling wasn’t (and sometimes still isn’t) something that was promoted or glorified. I feel like this rhetoric in our culture has made it hard for people to feel comfortable with receiving services. Though our gender, race, class, sexual orientation, sexual identity, religion and more often shapes our experiences, there is no discrimination on being able to focus on addressing what’s important to you. 

There are many avenues to try to find the right counselor for you. There are sites like Psychology Today where you can narrow your search by location, speciality, and any other identifiable criteria. Therapy for Black Girls is also another resourceful site that is focused on creating a space to encourage the mental health wellness of black women and girls and also provides you with African American providers in your area. With finding a provider don’t feel bad about being picky. Counselors are humans too, so you’re not always going to mesh with the first one you meet. Don’t feel afraid to “counselor shop” and find the person that makes you feel most comfortable and safe. Also be sure to check in with any specialty they may offer or that you may be looking for and accepted insurance or any sliding scales for individuals without insurance. We have accountants and financial advisors to address our finances. We have doctors, trainers and nutritionist to address our physical health. We have preachers and leaders to address our spiritual health. So why should there be shame for having someone to address our mental health? 

So, I leave you with some helpful activities/tips that I suggest for maintaining your mental health and decompressing from overwhelming moments.

1.) SELF CARE!! We live in such a fast paced society that we become stuck in this everyday looping routine. Finding time to recharge and prioritize yourself is important(and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for doing so).

2.) Mindfulness. Mindfulness is such a effortful task but is so rewarding. The aim of mindfulness is to bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment without judgment. A lot of times we worry about the next thing, the next day, and the next interaction but mindfulness allows us to focus and appreciate our present to be able redirect these thoughts. Some activities could be guided meditations, mindfulness walk(walk outside and notice small details about your environment) , and mindfulness breathing(trying a breathing exercise and specifically focus on your breathing; acknowledging wandering thoughts and refocusing )

3.) Acknowledge. Acknowledge your emotions and finding a healthy outlet to process them. We’ve all been there with shoving our emotions away and them ruminating in our minds and in our bodies. Try to focus on identifying your emotions when they come, why you are experiencing that emotions, and finding a healthy outlet to process your emotion (I.e journaling, art, talking to someone, etc).

Thanks for reading!

What In the world made me start a blog?!

Since the beginning of SimplyxBee, my Youtube/beauty page with my sister Alex B, I’ve enjoyed engaging with so many individuals with similar interest on the net. SimplyxBee is still open for business as we rebrand.

Why Solo Shon?

My growth has become very personal to me, as for the first time in years, I am moving away from my close friends as we embark on our own career & relationship goals. This is my outlet to express myself and a cultivation of self-care. This entire process of creating a logo and even combing the fine design details of this website has been so therapeutic and empowering.

What can we expect?

Being a chameleon of many interests and talents, I plan to bring you all on my journey of : new travel territories, health/wellness, inspirational insight, my nursing goals, fashion, and moreeeeee.

With that being said…

Give me a subscription, reshare, like, or comment!! Special thanks to TWAgency & Tyler Lyles and my friends for assisting me with my vision. Without you, this would still be JUST a thought!