Nowwwww back to business! 

Who else is bae-less or apart from your significant other during this debacle with Ronisha (Coronavirus) ?! Well join the club with ya girl! Recently on IG live, Me and a few friends had a quick convo about dating and relationships. LISTEN…a nerve was struck!

But before I jump into my experiences of dating during my 20s ..let’s break down a few terms:

• Talking – liking each other; possibly texting and/or talking on the phone here and there. Not exclusive. 
• Dating – graduation from the “talking” phase. Seeing each other on a regular basis. Going on dates. More than likely exclusive based on agreement between both parties.
• Friend-Zoning – making someone who tries to pursue just a friend and nothing more.
• Situationship – both parties are in limbo of what’s really going on. Everything is in a grey area due to poor communication and lack of boundaries. One day you’re in a relationship and the next y’all just friends. 
• Relationship– you mine PERIOD. Ain’t nothing else to talk about! 
• Other Terms you need to know! (Click)

Did I nail it? Give me your opinion on these terms!

Anyways, I was with a long term partner throughout my undergraduate college career and into about 2 years afterward. Very much on and off. Fun and stressful times but it didn’t last. We both knew where it was headed. We just kept playing tug-of-war with something that should have ended years ago. Great friends but not great partners. I learned a lot from that relationship as to what I wanted and deserved from a partner. 

I’ve had my share of clowns throughout the time I’ve been single and dating. I must say dating is exhausting and refreshing at the same damn time! On one hand, you’re not constricted to talking to one person and you can literally chose who you want to hang out with from day to day. Then on the other hand, you’re dealing with multiple personalities, spreading your energy, and ultimately running tired! 

Talking, dating, or whatever is personally not the move for me long term. Anyone else love love like me? Yea..read that again! I’m a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and I want to place my energy into a relationship. I don’t want to do multiple FaceTime calls with Bob, Joe, and John throughout the day. I don’t want to meet all y’all families. I don’t want to be stalking all y’all on social media LOLLLLLLL. 

The crazy thing with dudes my age nowadays are the constant games. Granted, I’m sure females are playing just the same about of games but right now the ROAST is for the guys . You want us to deal with the inconsistency, poor communication, lack of intimacy (who else knows the difference between intimacy & sex), lack of excitement, and just overall mediocre mess! Guys will literally “WYD” you to death and consider that “talking”. BOY leave me the hell alone and go play witcha mama!! If you are trying to court or date, where are the actual dates outside the crib? Where are the conversations about places we can travel together? Where are the random acts of service or gifts? WHERE IS THE RECIPROCITY?!! {* Fred’s Voice} Maybe, I was looking for something unrealistic because HONEYYYYYYYYYYY!! My encounters have been strictly with guys that just want sex, were liars (had whole wives or girlfriends…committed ones gon’ slide in the DMs PERIODT), boring, or just asswipes with no respect on how to treat a REAL woman. I got to the point where I almost went on a thottin’ spree because something serious was not in the line-up for me! 

To my folks that are not willing to commit right now..Let’s talk about how you are meeting people to talk to or casually date? Apps like Instagram, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Plenty of Fish allow us to virtually pick our next date or hook-up with a single swipe or private message. I love hearing stories from my friends that use these apps. You can either have the time of your life or wishing you never met that person. Always be safe outchea though! Google these people! About 90% of the guys I took interest in, I met in the club, through a mutual friend, or social media DMs. About 90% WERE CLOWNS TOO!

Bottom line, I feel it all boils down to intention. Are you honest with the other party when you enter a courtship? Do you lay your expectations ? Are you strict with your dealbreakers?  We all know that one person we talked to who said they wanted one thing and actions display another….

I know I have probably talked your head off by now! This topic is so broad and I really tried my damnedest to narrow it down. Maybe we can make this a series! Give me your thoughts! Tell me about some past dating fails and successes, how you keep your relationship healthy, casual dating, your journey to preparing yourself for love, etc. Holla at me!!