Heartbreak Hotel

Heartbreak Hotel

Hey Lovelys!!!

I feel May has been dragging forever and everrr. How about you? Anyways, I could not let this month slide by without recognizing the observance of Mental Health month! I’m putting my own 2 cents on dis thangggg and discussing heartbreak along with mental health insight by one of my favorite counselors! Yeaaaaaaaa heartbreak! That ol’ funky dirtbag!

Til this day, I can still pinpoint my first real heartbreak. Who forgets these things?! I was in high school at the time and I was sooooo in love with this guy. We’ll call him Randy LOL. Oh Randy….tough on the exterior but just the right softness with me. We attended different highschools but managed to see each other  every weekend. It was something about that bad boy demeanor that kept me on my little teenage toes. His family was super sweet and welcoming. We bought matching shoes together, gave each other gifts, went on small trips, and whatever else that was permitted by our parents. Things were good until they weren’t…the relationship turned turbulent with petty drama, jealousy, and a lot of outside opinions. I remember holding on just because I felt comfortable even though I knew this wasn’t for me… I remember crying for something that was constantly hurting me..I remember that little relationship controlling how I performed in school and with my friends..Damn I sound like I had it rough in high school huh?! I wish I learned my lesson with this situation, but I didn’t.

Throughout my early 20s til currently, I have experienced heartbreaks again. Each time in a different capacity. Whether it’s being lied to or failed expectations it still did a number on me. That type of feeling where you don’t want to eat, socialize, be happy, or even exist. You want that person to change, be who you need them to be, and choose you on time & time again. Well the gag is that they won’t change on your time..sometimes they won’t change at all. Mentally,  a hard pill to swallow right? A heartbreak, no doubt screws with your mental in a way that is almost inexpressible.. How many of you have gone to therapy for a breakup or situationship (a half-ass relationship)? Oh boyyyyy I wish I did…I wish therapy was a thing back then. Back then and sometimes now depending on the culture, it’s taboo. I wish I could have more insight on my emotions during those times. 

Some emotions I’ve experienced during heartbreak:

  • Feeling inadequate 
  • Incapable of being loved 
  • Difficult 
  • Failure
  • Weak
  • Empty 
  • Betrayed 
  • Alone 

I did makeshift therapy of talking to my friends about the situations for validation, talking to other guys to get my mind off the situation (be careful to not end up in a new relationship while venting 🥴) , exercising, or just keeping busy with a task. Sometimes, I did backslide and went right back to the very person that caused all this mess. It felt so comfortable, so familiar, and so TOXIC. I gained some type of satisfaction knowing I could easily access the guy. Finally breaking those ties lead me to heal in ways I can’t imagine. I look back on those situations now like “Fool why didn’t you leave at the first red flag”?! 

Points I learned from heartbreak:

  • Balance your friendships & relationships (show your friends love even when you have a boo thang) 9x out of 10 they will be there when that clown messes up 
  • Never lose your personal goals while in a relationship 
  • Seek advice from someone with relationship experience -or of sound judgement 
  • It’s okay to NOT be okay 
  • Be patient with your healing 
  • Don’t take old baggage into a new relationship 
  • Don’t take baggage into your new season 
  • Block them if you have to! On Er’thanggg
  • Cry if you need to 

We ignore the signs sometimes. We want to see the good in people. We want to see those promises become reality. We want to see them be good FOR US. Well baby…they maybe good but just not for you. Crazily, I had a young lady maliciously playing on my phone and social media over a guy not too long ago. Of course, I had to be petty because that was my initial reaction. How did she get my number? My social media? The courage to play on my line? Follow me with fake pages? Love. It makes you do crazy shit.. {PS please know fake numbers & IG pages are traceable 🥴} However, I get it. That was me before…maybe in a less extreme capacity LOLL. To her I say, heal. To you, I say heal. To myself, I say heal because healing doesn’t have an expiration date. If another heartbreak comes along, I am definitely more prepared than the last. Not something I look forward to but I understand that life happens and we must adapt and overcome. 

My goal with my blog is to always be transparent and real. Let’s talk about heartbreak today! I love talking to y’all! Follow me on IG @simply_shon 💜 Also Check Out some Mental Health tidbits from one of my fav counselors, Satura Long in our post below!

Therapy is OK, sis.

As we conclude Mental Health Awareness month, I would like to bring in some professional advice to all my gals that are on the fence about attending therapy. Introducing one of the coolest counselors I know on my blog, Satura Long! This post ties in with my heartbreak blog post so be sure to read…Continue reading »

4 thoughts on “Heartbreak Hotel

  1. How’s your mental health? I ask my kids this all the time and sometimes we get real deep just talking about experiences. So that one day they’ll have some kind of an idea of what they can do or steps to take or what to avoid. Talking to a therapist/counselor truly does help. I had to and I’m grateful for it. I wish allot more people would do too or open up to someone they could trust, no judgement.
    Great job on this sis! I love it! Thank you.

    Like

  2. Healing, can be frustrating and messy, but so worth EVERY element. ( you can definitely share this response) Healing is honestly, a never ending cycle. As you know, I just got of a 3 year relationship, 3 months ago, and daily, i am seeing good progress.

    Being that , I kept “me” at the center focus , while being in a relationship, ( meaning that I kept making sure I was whole) once the relationship ended, although indeed I was heart broken, I was able to pick myself up.
    However, i still Allow myself to feEl every emotion
    The best advice i can give anyone.

    Pray. Reevaluate. Know who you are. Seek therapy ( which I’m doing now😁) to continuously become a Better and Whole Woman)

    Enjoy your alone time. Don’t immediately jump back into something “serious”. Even if what ended was just a situation-ship. Those Carry so much damage at times .

    Do not IGNORE any RED FLAGS 🚩. If something isn’t setting right,
    All in all, I do believe, ones pain, can help set another soul free

    Like

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